Safety in Sandwich

Stupid Judy.

It’s not often that I find occasion to quote Bruce Willis. Let alone Bruce in his non-action turn as the emotionally stunted image consultant who comes face to face with his childhood self in Disney’s The Kid. That was a lie. It is much more likely that I would quote non-action Bruce before action Bruce. Don’t tell Jake Peralta but I have never seen Die Hard. That said, I’ve ingested so much pop culture that movie, TV and even theme park quotes tumble from my mouth with regularity. My favorites:

“Stupid Judy” – Used to denote a person, place or thing that causes annoyance, from the pre-attraction film at EPCOT’s now defunct Universe of Energy attraction. Ellen DeGeneres, as a version of herself, is disgusted with her college roommate, Judy, played by Jamie Lee Curtis because Judy is wiping the floor with her on dream Jeopardy. Trust me, it all makes sense in context. Context that is now unattainable given the closure of the attraction. I’m sure there is something out there on the YouTube machine.

“Festivus Miracle” – To be exclaimed when joyfulness fills the air! It is rather remarkable the number of Seinfeld phrases that made their way into the pop culture lexicon. It is unlikely that any one show will ever again capture the zeitgeist so perfectly. Seinfeld is referenced in my daily life but Festivus Miracle gets used most often. Hit all the North/South lights green on the way through downtown? Festivus Miracle.

“Have a good trip, bring me back something French” – Can mean everything from goodbye, see you later or talk to you later to, actually, have a good time in France. What’s not to love about Home Alone? A classic good v. evil story: child takes on Wetbandits. Give it a whirl.

“Well, but she can’t work” – Usually meant to denote a situation in which I/you/we are not interested. Must be spoken with the pale, English sensibility of Matt Lucas. Bridesmaids stands out as one of the few movie experiences in which I truly laughed out loud, repeatedly, uncontrollably. An honorable mention to all of the lines from the airplane scene - because it’s civil rights.

"You’re covered in nuts" – Fits any and all situations. In The Heat, Paul Feig paired Melissa McCarthy and Sandra Bullock to immense comedic success. Some of the scenes go on a little long or are completely unnecessary (did Sandra really need to perform a tracheotomy in a diner? Probably not), but there are plethora of amazing lines in this one. Just watch: